All the people at my group chose the same poem and I agreed with them! The completely mixed up version worked the best. It's so interesting how the new composition is more logical and balanced. From there I was able to improve on word choice in order to convey an aura of my poem.
My partners influenced me to choose the first version of my poem because it flowed better and told my story better. I completely agreed with them! I felt like the other two versions were more forced and a little unorganized in terms of structure and the storytelling aspect.
I was told to use the first version of my poem because it ultimately flows more and has a certain natural order to it. The other versions were a bit choppy when they were out of place; the original was the only one that really told the story properly.
"The third poem is by far the most effective. Starting with “I am not my mother’s daughter” is an incredibly interesting statement, and it lures the reader into wanting to find out more, which is an incredibly powerful tool to have. From the first line, a setting and mood is created which is something that this version of the poem offers more than the others."
My partners' comments helped me to determine which version of my poem best evoked the feeling of loss to tie it in with the rest of my anthology.
"I think if you could reword this slightly it would be the best version. The original is very straightforward and I think this version provides a more mysterious tone"
This comment helped change my mind about which version I liked the best - I realized that if I reorganized some of the wording to make the poem more cohesive, a different order of the lines in my poem actually made the story sound a lot more beautiful.
My group chose the most mixed up version but I decided to stay with the original. When talking about the metaphor in the poem, they told me add a specific detail that would make it more clear about who the metaphor represents rather than just an idea. I thought that the story with the metaphor wouldn't work out but it actually did!
Throughout the process of editing my different poems, one thing that was very useful from all of my partners was their perspective on my writing. A lot of times, I would have one set way of looking at my poems, but then my partner would read it, find a hidden message, which would then help me make my poems even stronger.
"I really like the last version because it sort of starts off with dealing with pain and ending with this positive outcome.
I like the last version, because the sentences go together really well, and it’s paradoxical in a way"
The people in my group all agreed on the same version of my poem and added advice. This gave me another perspective to my poem, because I did not realize that was the meaning behind it until someone else read it.
When it was explained to me, I attempted mixing my original poem, and it seemed somewhat strange, but given the story I'm getting at, perhaps using this syntax would be extremely effective.
My group was very helpful in allowing me to see that I needed to completely reorganize the entire thing into a new version because they all seemed to like separate versions. It was also very interesting that, although they all chose different versions, they pointed at the same specific parts of my poem to say that the logical flow worked well in that one section. So with this feedback, I rearranged most of the stanzas, but kept together the parts that my group liked.
"I like the 2nd Version better than your first and third poems just because it didn’t seem forced in terms of flow. The flow of it was just excellent! "
Everyone in my group agreed that the best poem I had to offer was the version with random order. It's created a new way of thinking what goes through the reader's mind, because when reading it, I realized that it created not only mood, but better scenery than the rest of my poems.
My group's comment was that in version three, the fluidity of the poem works better. This helped me because I then changed the tenses in the poem which helped the organization of the chronology. In this memoir, order did play a part in the overall message, so the comment was to my advantage! :)
I didn't get any peer feedback because I was absent from class, but I did do a lot of individual thinking (and I got some help from Helen D.). Originally, I liked by first version the best, but I ended up choosing the third version because a short, concise style of poetry is something I am not familiar with but wanted to experiment with. I think it leaves enough mystery but conveys emotion rather than specific images.
My partners chose different versions of my poem, however, this helped me because I picked out what they liked best about each poem and combined the lines into a fourth version. I think the new version works better because it is not as straightforward and allows the reader more room to interpret it, then by the last line it is clear what I am discussing.
My partners each picked different versions, but none of them were the original. This surprised me, because I was very steadfast before the comments that the original variation was the best and the order certainly didn't have to be changed. Nonetheless, they each different tidbits of positive feedback about which sections worked good back to back. So, for my final, I amalgamated the advice and almost completely restructured the poem. Hopefully, it now sounds more dramatic and stressful, which is the goal of the poem (not all poetry, just this poem haha)
I received no comments, since I wasnt there, but I read my poem over again to myself and my friends and they wanted me to make the final like of the poem stronger throughout, despite its brevity
I didn't get any comments because I wasn't here on Tuesday, but I was told by a friend that if I made it rhyme it would make it easier for the reader to connect to.
My feedback helped me make my sentences more elaborate. My partners picked the same verse, and they liked how It jumped back and forth between emotion and plot.
All the people at my group chose the same poem and I agreed with them! The completely mixed up version worked the best. It's so interesting how the new composition is more logical and balanced. From there I was able to improve on word choice in order to convey an aura of my poem.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy partners influenced me to choose the first version of my poem because it flowed better and told my story better. I completely agreed with them! I felt like the other two versions were more forced and a little unorganized in terms of structure and the storytelling aspect.
ReplyDeleteI was told to use the first version of my poem because it ultimately flows more and has a certain natural order to it. The other versions were a bit choppy when they were out of place; the original was the only one that really told the story properly.
ReplyDelete"The third poem is by far the most effective. Starting with “I am not my mother’s daughter” is an incredibly interesting statement, and it lures the reader into wanting to find out more, which is an incredibly powerful tool to have. From the first line, a setting and mood is created which is something that this version of the poem offers more than the others."
ReplyDeleteMy partners' comments helped me to determine which version of my poem best evoked the feeling of loss to tie it in with the rest of my anthology.
"I think if you could reword this slightly it would be the best version. The original is very straightforward and I think this version provides a more mysterious tone"
ReplyDeleteThis comment helped change my mind about which version I liked the best - I realized that if I reorganized some of the wording to make the poem more cohesive, a different order of the lines in my poem actually made the story sound a lot more beautiful.
"I think you should continue with the weather aspect of your piece, but fixate more on it in certain parts of your poem (by taking out fluff)"
ReplyDeleteThis comment helped me specify my poem more and make the message/connection among my poems more significant.
My group chose the most mixed up version but I decided to stay with the original. When talking about the metaphor in the poem, they told me add a specific detail that would make it more clear about who the metaphor represents rather than just an idea. I thought that the story with the metaphor wouldn't work out but it actually did!
ReplyDeleteThroughout the process of editing my different poems, one thing that was very useful from all of my partners was their perspective on my writing. A lot of times, I would have one set way of looking at my poems, but then my partner would read it, find a hidden message, which would then help me make my poems even stronger.
ReplyDelete"I really like the last version because it sort of starts off with dealing with pain and ending with this positive outcome.
ReplyDeleteI like the last version, because the sentences go together really well, and it’s paradoxical in a way"
The people in my group all agreed on the same version of my poem and added advice. This gave me another perspective to my poem, because I did not realize that was the meaning behind it until someone else read it.
When it was explained to me, I attempted mixing my original poem, and it seemed somewhat strange, but given the story I'm getting at, perhaps using this syntax would be extremely effective.
ReplyDeleteMy group was very helpful in allowing me to see that I needed to completely reorganize the entire thing into a new version because they all seemed to like separate versions. It was also very interesting that, although they all chose different versions, they pointed at the same specific parts of my poem to say that the logical flow worked well in that one section. So with this feedback, I rearranged most of the stanzas, but kept together the parts that my group liked.
ReplyDelete"I like the 2nd Version better than your first and third poems just because it didn’t seem forced in terms of flow. The flow of it was just excellent! "
ReplyDeleteEveryone in my group agreed that the best poem I had to offer was the version with random order. It's created a new way of thinking what goes through the reader's mind, because when reading it, I realized that it created not only mood, but better scenery than the rest of my poems.
My group's comment was that in version three, the fluidity of the poem works better. This helped me because I then changed the tenses in the poem which helped the organization of the chronology. In this memoir, order did play a part in the overall message, so the comment was to my advantage! :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't get any peer feedback because I was absent from class, but I did do a lot of individual thinking (and I got some help from Helen D.). Originally, I liked by first version the best, but I ended up choosing the third version because a short, concise style of poetry is something I am not familiar with but wanted to experiment with. I think it leaves enough mystery but conveys emotion rather than specific images.
ReplyDeleteMy partners chose different versions of my poem, however, this helped me because I picked out what they liked best about each poem and combined the lines into a fourth version. I think the new version works better because it is not as straightforward and allows the reader more room to interpret it, then by the last line it is clear what I am discussing.
ReplyDeleteMy partners each picked different versions, but none of them were the original. This surprised me, because I was very steadfast before the comments that the original variation was the best and the order certainly didn't have to be changed.
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, they each different tidbits of positive feedback about which sections worked good back to back. So, for my final, I amalgamated the advice and almost completely restructured the poem. Hopefully, it now sounds more dramatic and stressful, which is the goal of the poem (not all poetry, just this poem haha)
I received no comments, since I wasnt there, but I read my poem over again to myself and my friends and they wanted me to make the final like of the poem stronger throughout, despite its brevity
ReplyDeleteI didn't get any comments because I wasn't here on Tuesday, but I was told by a friend that if I made it rhyme it would make it easier for the reader to connect to.
ReplyDeleteMy feedback helped me make my sentences more elaborate. My partners picked the same verse, and they liked how It jumped back and forth between emotion and plot.
ReplyDelete