Conferencing for drafts, in new groups of 3 (only show your group members the story draft, so that they have to read it without any informational support, explanation or outlines).
PUT ON BLOG: Focus first on praise (what, specifically, the author did well), and then on constructive criticism. Here are some guidelines for what to constructively criticise:
- can you follow the story? Some ambiguity is fine, but if the plot of the story is difficult to understand, or there are major plot holes, what can the author do, to clarify or fill in the holes?
- does the narrator have a clear 1st or 2nd person voice? Does that narration help you to get to know and/or connect with the character? Does the narrative voice have a specific effect on the story-telling? If not, what can the author adjust, in the narration, to make the voice clearer? Remember the voice development tools we discussed last time.
- how do you feel about the beginning and/or ending of the story?
HOMEWORK:
- Revise your work, based on peer comments, and bring in final for story-time! We’ll be reading them aloud in groups and, hopefully, for the full class, so practice that narrative voice out loud (if yours ended up being especially long, excerpt one page to share). If you would like my feedback on your story, print it out for me (totally optional).
- Blog #2: post one or more comments, that you received from your peers during conferencing, that you thought were especially helpful (praise or criticism), and what you changed about your story, based on those comments.
Comment: "I think through dialogue you can also expand on the use of second person and make it seem more like the character is talking in a form of inverted second person, which I assume is kind of what you’re up to."
ReplyDeleteBased on this comment, I will work on the message of the story by better cultivating on what perspective I'm writing about this issue from.
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ReplyDelete1. The plot of the story was ambiguous, however because the character were so developed it was easy to follow along with the story as a whole. i also enjoyed getting to now these characters in a short amount of time.
ReplyDelete2. The narrator has clear first person voice. It is also very easy to connect with the character with the use of his "inside voice". The only correction would be to have a clearer plot.
3. The ending of the story was vague and a little cut off, but the beginning of the story, although sudden, was very well executed.
1. The story is very clear and able to follow, as well as interesting. It does end in a vague place, and further development of the end could lead to a more satisfying conclusion.
ReplyDelete2. The character is likable and has a clear voice, but the story could be edited so that the character's thoughts are clearer.
3. The beginning draws the reader in and sets up the story really nicely, but the end is sudden and leaves the reader wondering what will happen and unsatisfied.
The story that I read was really interesting to read and understand because the perspective and the purpose of the piece was really compelling. The voice that the author used really helped portray his character in the way that he thought of the girl that he was going to go on a date with. Also, the use of the repetition of ideas helped establish the point of the piece and what he was going to try to make the girl understand while on this date. The ending was really specific to the narrator because he ends up trying to persuade himself that he is a good person.
ReplyDeleteMarion commented that my story was good, and had good character development, but it would be nice to have a more satisfying ending, and to work on metaphor. I used more metaphor in sentences to explain the type of person she is and how she's feeling, and I created a hopeful, conclusive ending.
ReplyDelete1. The plot of the story was a bit fuzzy due to the lack of dialogue, but since the character was so identifiable, it made the piece intriguing.
ReplyDelete2. Although we understand the character's intentions and thoughts, we need to hear how he would articulate those opinion verbally in order to have a better understanding.
3. The story started well and the ended the same, because the text was kept short and simple, but with the right choice of words, the piece became twice as powerful.
I got feedback to explain or clarify a section of the plot to bring out the character's personality. This helped me improve my writing by making sure the reader knew the reasoning behind the narrator's actions.
ReplyDelete